So many stories to tell what happens on my public trains rides...
Some time ago when the bus drivers were on strike, their passengers could use their bus tickets to use the trains.
Their lack of knowledge on proper etiquette on something as SIMPLE as climbing onto trains just blows my mind!
1. Stand aside when the doors open!
2.
Wait until the people get off the trains first! This normally provides
more room inside the train for you to board and get a seat.
3. Relax, you will get to your destination.
Instead the ignorami stood right in front of the doors in marginal width and all wanted to climb in at once.
Its like experiencing five large people wanting to go through one doorway at the same time! @_@;
So there I was, knowing what will happen if I don't stand right against the door. The train stopped and the door opened.
I lived in a zombie movie as arms were just flailing and deathly moans and grunts could be heard.
With
my little muay thai practices at home I used my elbows to fend off the
arms, but my lightweight and tall stature didn't help much.
I was
swept away like a Shoprite packet in a gale force wind. Landed on the
train floor and zombies walked over me. Again, the will to fight and get
out was in me.
On my hands and on my knees, I drilled my way like a mole through grounded legs.
Speedily crawling along the zombies...
Last
I could remember is crawling right between a black guy's legs. I still
remember the light baked blue jeans and sandals without socks...
My last action was living in an Indiana Jones movie. I retrieved my cap that was swept off during the crawl at the last second.
I came out alive with a scratch mark above my eye, side is hurting- raw ribs and a scraped knee.
But its fine. It worked better than coffee to get my day started ~o)
Thursday, 20 June 2013
Thursday, 6 June 2013
Cat in the tHATch
Monday night I had my own story of a Cat in the tHATch.
Just about to drink a nicely cooled down cup of hot coffee with my supper and in came a plead for help as my mom's cat got stuck in the neighbours roof (same plot, different house).
Cat's name was Dusty, sadly appropriate for her misadventure.
She was within the within of the within of the roof...
Equipping warm clothes and shoes with grip I climbed on the slimey platform.
Now you Cape Townians know how the weather was over the weekend. Hail, (or as the misinformed calls it: "snow"), rain, winds...
It didn't matter, can't see my mom in distress.
No traction could be found on the roof. Mos and shadowy green was all there was to hold. So I propped myself with my feet against the gutter and proceeded to scoot my three layered clothed ass all the way across the roof tiles, hoping to find the hole she climbed in.
Found
a few steel plates around the chimney which seemed to be a place she
could have climbed into. It was friendly bendable plates and so I bend
them, most friendly.
At least it is dry inside the
roof. My mom passed me a cup of shredded tuna. It was her favourite (the
cat I mean) and the roof would provide some lodging that night for some
tuna bits.
I said my farewell to the tuna and chucked
them inside, hoping she would smell it and come towards the entrance
that I opened a bit wider. I proceeded to scoot my ass along the roof
even more and try and find another point of entry. Damn it was cold.
I wonder is she is keeping a mouse warm in the roof (of her mouth)....
The only thing we had now to do was wait for her to find the smell of her favourite and come out.
My dad in the mean time was moaning loudly the whole time, as usual, probably making her sink further into the roof or mice...
He
thought the cat might be in the neighbours room and wanted to knock on
the window (but yelled first, as he normally does...) whereas their door
was right next to it. Where is your manners dude? Knock on their door if you want to talk! X_X
We
put a ladder under the roof where some planks were looking a bit loose
and where the sound of a meow could be heard every now and then.
What's the time?
Hammer time!
..and those planks got loose with a hammer and we left some more tuna there.
Hammer time!
..and those planks got loose with a hammer and we left some more tuna there.
Eventually when all that was left to do was wait, we went inside.
You know that feeling you get when you just know everything will be alright?
She came back in sometime the night and stared at my mom in the morning when we all had to get up for work.
Its the stare she gives when she wants tuna @_@
...or perhaps she was miffed we fed it to the roof.
That night it rained only one cat and no dogs.
Wednesday, 5 June 2013
Wednesday, 29 May 2013
The one night....
Like each night... I slept.
One time I woke up, but not entirely.
I took a walk outide and was bored. Saw a bank that said 24-hour banking.
I thought "I just don't have that much time".
So I went to the hardware store to buy some second hand paint to fill up my time. It was in the shape of a house, but not the shape I was looking for.
I remembered I needed some batteries too, so I bought that instead.
The batteries weren't included, so I had to buy them again.
Got back home and tried to open the house with my car keys. It started up the house.
Took a drive all across town sitting in my lounge. Ended up on the freeway and yelled at people "Get off from my drive way!"
I decided to move.Sped past a graveyard and figured, if I'm going to crash, I might as well do it here.
The graveyard was a tad loud and noisy. Probably because of all the coffin.
I ended up parking in a tree. A banana tree in fact.
I was so tired and drifted off, I realized I started to snore so I left. Didn't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Some gorillas came there as well. They couldn't sleep either. I always wondered why their nostrils were so big... probably because they have big fingers.
We had tea with three sugars.
In a cup.
Left my house in the tree. Thought it would be nice to have a banana tree house on safari.
Across from the road I saw a speed reading contest. I entered but ended up in the hospital as I hit a bookmark and flew across the room.
No one visited except my shadow. Kept on telling me jokes I don't remember.
Feels a lot like amnesia and deja vu. I don't remember if I have forgotten this before.
But as far as I know, deja vu is an event that was so funny, The Big Guy above wanted to rewind it and play it again for his friends.
I decided it was enough and went home by using my house keys on a mercedez outside.
Went to my pc and logged in my penumbra-like fictional adventurous.
As I'm typing this I realize there is a dumbass between I and Y on the keyboard.
Wouldn't you agree that after (M)onday and (T)uesday even the week says WTF?
Just my little tribute:
When there is nothing left there is always Wright.;)
One time I woke up, but not entirely.
I took a walk outide and was bored. Saw a bank that said 24-hour banking.
I thought "I just don't have that much time".
So I went to the hardware store to buy some second hand paint to fill up my time. It was in the shape of a house, but not the shape I was looking for.
I remembered I needed some batteries too, so I bought that instead.
The batteries weren't included, so I had to buy them again.
Got back home and tried to open the house with my car keys. It started up the house.
Took a drive all across town sitting in my lounge. Ended up on the freeway and yelled at people "Get off from my drive way!"
I decided to move.Sped past a graveyard and figured, if I'm going to crash, I might as well do it here.
The graveyard was a tad loud and noisy. Probably because of all the coffin.
I ended up parking in a tree. A banana tree in fact.
I was so tired and drifted off, I realized I started to snore so I left. Didn't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Some gorillas came there as well. They couldn't sleep either. I always wondered why their nostrils were so big... probably because they have big fingers.
We had tea with three sugars.
In a cup.
Left my house in the tree. Thought it would be nice to have a banana tree house on safari.
Across from the road I saw a speed reading contest. I entered but ended up in the hospital as I hit a bookmark and flew across the room.
No one visited except my shadow. Kept on telling me jokes I don't remember.
Feels a lot like amnesia and deja vu. I don't remember if I have forgotten this before.
But as far as I know, deja vu is an event that was so funny, The Big Guy above wanted to rewind it and play it again for his friends.
I decided it was enough and went home by using my house keys on a mercedez outside.
Went to my pc and logged in my penumbra-like fictional adventurous.
As I'm typing this I realize there is a dumbass between I and Y on the keyboard.
Wouldn't you agree that after (M)onday and (T)uesday even the week says WTF?
Just my little tribute:
When there is nothing left there is always Wright.;)
Tuesday, 14 May 2013
Tales from the Crypt (aka clinic)
I had to visit a doctor last week in order for them to tell me I'm sick
and give me a certificate; an achievement of some kind to prove that I'm
not well.
"Well done! You've past Go, collect your 200 moola and pills!" ^_^
While I don't mind the wait (and that would be numerous hours), the conversation and atmosphere there is not ideal. It looked like an old people's club. A club where one could collect your pills and/or hobby material and then talk about the adventures of it.
"I had to take 78 pills yesterday. How many did you take?"
"Well, I put it all in a stew and ate one bowl. So I don't know"
"Hey, that's pretty clever, they should sell pill stews."
"Yep, I already have a shop open on Saturdays from all the excess pills I got each day at the clinic".
"How many times did you visit this week?"
"Well, each day of the week for each sickness. That's 12 days this week"
"oh..."
And clearly the madness persists for hours and I'm twitching on the bench trying not to absorb anything from the clinic whether it be old-timer's-disease, the odd conversations, and ANY air in fact!
Just some thought on the hours spent at the day clinic:
One would either become sick from sitting amidst 42 "odd" people coughing, babbling, or become mentally ill by being part of the new talk show: Pill talk.
Or one would actually be healthy at the end of the day because of the long hours you wait there and heal as you sit or one would force mind over matter just to get well and out...
The sad part is that I've visited a Nurse the first day as the doctors was a no show. Figures. And thank her as she actually did a good job! She said that if I don't feel well after the two days I was booked off for I should return (which was returned by a mental glare in my mind- the return to this place....) but I smiled and waved.
After two days I was back. Nothing changed and as sure as I am able to type this right now the very same people where there too!
The second visit I actually saw the doctor. Prime example of someone who bought their doctors degree for more than just a price. One of those Pick 'n Pay specials.
So I told her my case. Didn't listen and gave some pain pills and a packet of vitamin C.
Whoopie and wows! Gosh, I didn't know I had to use them! Ơ͡_Ơ͡
"Thanks a lot Doc! :D Now if you could just help me 'Out' I'd appreciate it. Where is the door?"
As citric as Vitamin C pills can be, that visit just left a nigh permanent sour taste in my mouth...
"Well done! You've past Go, collect your 200 moola and pills!" ^_^
While I don't mind the wait (and that would be numerous hours), the conversation and atmosphere there is not ideal. It looked like an old people's club. A club where one could collect your pills and/or hobby material and then talk about the adventures of it.
"I had to take 78 pills yesterday. How many did you take?"
"Well, I put it all in a stew and ate one bowl. So I don't know"
"Hey, that's pretty clever, they should sell pill stews."
"Yep, I already have a shop open on Saturdays from all the excess pills I got each day at the clinic".
"How many times did you visit this week?"
"Well, each day of the week for each sickness. That's 12 days this week"
"oh..."
And clearly the madness persists for hours and I'm twitching on the bench trying not to absorb anything from the clinic whether it be old-timer's-disease, the odd conversations, and ANY air in fact!
Just some thought on the hours spent at the day clinic:
One would either become sick from sitting amidst 42 "odd" people coughing, babbling, or become mentally ill by being part of the new talk show: Pill talk.
Or one would actually be healthy at the end of the day because of the long hours you wait there and heal as you sit or one would force mind over matter just to get well and out...
The sad part is that I've visited a Nurse the first day as the doctors was a no show. Figures. And thank her as she actually did a good job! She said that if I don't feel well after the two days I was booked off for I should return (which was returned by a mental glare in my mind- the return to this place....) but I smiled and waved.
After two days I was back. Nothing changed and as sure as I am able to type this right now the very same people where there too!
The second visit I actually saw the doctor. Prime example of someone who bought their doctors degree for more than just a price. One of those Pick 'n Pay specials.
So I told her my case. Didn't listen and gave some pain pills and a packet of vitamin C.
Whoopie and wows! Gosh, I didn't know I had to use them! Ơ͡_Ơ͡
"Thanks a lot Doc! :D Now if you could just help me 'Out' I'd appreciate it. Where is the door?"
As citric as Vitamin C pills can be, that visit just left a nigh permanent sour taste in my mouth...
Friday, 3 May 2013
Ankle High Pants
Baggy pants + underwear-flash trends...
yeah..........
(•͡_ •͡ ;;
Surely, clothing is made to keep you warm and your tidbits secret, but also it can be fashionable!
But darn it, I don't want to see your claddy ass keeping-it-together plumbers crack peeking out from the underwear line and making its mark "Killroy was here"
Especially the guys, learn some decency and class and pull up your pants.
Does it not feel uncomfortable? Drudging and dragging this pants when it always feels like its clinging by with that little muscle screaming "I'm macho! I can do this all day long!"
I sincerely doubt it.
But! My mind judges too quick...
They might have TB (tiny bladder) and hence this pants and ready to drop at any giving moment of thought (relaxing that little macho muscle).
Yes! I understand now, the youth have TB. :)
And walking... With that... Dreadfully loose hanging pants like its an unnoticed snot going for a bungee jump.
Human walking has previously been described as a series of controlled falling.
The way they walk is definitely not walking. That is not a series of controlled falls.
That's a standing slither!
I do have pants that can be worn baggy. In fact I have one on right now, but logic tells me that I need the correct waist measure (32;) and a belt.
I have two hands that is way too preoccupied to be lifting or adjust my pants every 5-20 seconds.
*sigh...
For those of you that do indeed wear baggy pants to your ankles and show the world your fancy spider-man boxer shorts, please feel free to rid the minds like mine of confusion who doesn't understand the comfort on that "fashion statement".
You'd do me a favor :)
yeah..........
(•͡_ •͡ ;;
Surely, clothing is made to keep you warm and your tidbits secret, but also it can be fashionable!
But darn it, I don't want to see your claddy ass keeping-it-together plumbers crack peeking out from the underwear line and making its mark "Killroy was here"
Especially the guys, learn some decency and class and pull up your pants.
Does it not feel uncomfortable? Drudging and dragging this pants when it always feels like its clinging by with that little muscle screaming "I'm macho! I can do this all day long!"
I sincerely doubt it.
But! My mind judges too quick...
They might have TB (tiny bladder) and hence this pants and ready to drop at any giving moment of thought (relaxing that little macho muscle).
Yes! I understand now, the youth have TB. :)
And walking... With that... Dreadfully loose hanging pants like its an unnoticed snot going for a bungee jump.
Human walking has previously been described as a series of controlled falling.
The way they walk is definitely not walking. That is not a series of controlled falls.
That's a standing slither!
I do have pants that can be worn baggy. In fact I have one on right now, but logic tells me that I need the correct waist measure (32;) and a belt.
I have two hands that is way too preoccupied to be lifting or adjust my pants every 5-20 seconds.
*sigh...
For those of you that do indeed wear baggy pants to your ankles and show the world your fancy spider-man boxer shorts, please feel free to rid the minds like mine of confusion who doesn't understand the comfort on that "fashion statement".
You'd do me a favor :)
Phonanormal Activity
Phones are a great device, but sometimes they have more intellect to take over a lesser mind and its friends.
One morning on a train ride I boarded the wrong carriage. Right in the means of having the correct ticket, but wrong as in I didn't want to be on that specific carriage!
I would rather have observed a preacher in security clothes doing all kinds of tiger styles and clapping his hands than to watch four friends being controlled by their phones.
Apparently two of them was boyfriend and girlfriend, as noticed them standing close and his arm around her (or maybe its a weird friendship where your finger traces the significant others shoulder blades). The other two was a friend and a work colleague no doubt.
Their "conversation" revolved around each one looking at their phone, read something on the phone screen and a premeditated laugh in unison takes place. "Huh huh huh... *trails off*"
Yesh! That's pure awesomeness! @_@
One reads a joke "Yo! Look here: He's so poor he writes bolony on his bread!"
They hear it and go "huh huh huh..."
Its not even fathomably laughable when standing next to them, but I guess for their minds it deserves a round of a LOL. Then the quiet proceeds again, stares at the phones...
As I'm observing these beings evolution produced us, they have another technique as well by "showing what's on their screen".
This technique happens when Fred is reading something aloud, but Bob can't make his find noticed, so Bob shows the phone to Biff, the least interested person in the story sung by Fred.
Bob has a smile, those ones in anticipation of a pre-planned laugh, while he shows his phone to Biff. Biff smiles then Bob goes "huh huh huh...". Biff does the same because its the "in" thing to do.
Two laugh, the other two, Fred and Carrey, gets inquisitive. Bob shows then in turn each what is one his phone. Same procedure each time. "Huh huh huh...".
At this time I'm pulling out what is left of my hair.
So what does this has to do with anything in life? Absolutely Bugbear-all!
Its a waste of time where one could actually have had a decent conversation and you might have learned something as well. Even find out more about a person or life for that matter!
I'm sure Fred, Biff, Carrey and Bob would have forgotten a certain person is so poor he only writes bolony on his sandwiches, as soon as they climb off the train in Cape Town.
-_-* frustrates the mind!
One morning on a train ride I boarded the wrong carriage. Right in the means of having the correct ticket, but wrong as in I didn't want to be on that specific carriage!
I would rather have observed a preacher in security clothes doing all kinds of tiger styles and clapping his hands than to watch four friends being controlled by their phones.
Apparently two of them was boyfriend and girlfriend, as noticed them standing close and his arm around her (or maybe its a weird friendship where your finger traces the significant others shoulder blades). The other two was a friend and a work colleague no doubt.
Their "conversation" revolved around each one looking at their phone, read something on the phone screen and a premeditated laugh in unison takes place. "Huh huh huh... *trails off*"
Yesh! That's pure awesomeness! @_@
One reads a joke "Yo! Look here: He's so poor he writes bolony on his bread!"
They hear it and go "huh huh huh..."
Its not even fathomably laughable when standing next to them, but I guess for their minds it deserves a round of a LOL. Then the quiet proceeds again, stares at the phones...
As I'm observing these beings evolution produced us, they have another technique as well by "showing what's on their screen".
This technique happens when Fred is reading something aloud, but Bob can't make his find noticed, so Bob shows the phone to Biff, the least interested person in the story sung by Fred.
Bob has a smile, those ones in anticipation of a pre-planned laugh, while he shows his phone to Biff. Biff smiles then Bob goes "huh huh huh...". Biff does the same because its the "in" thing to do.
Two laugh, the other two, Fred and Carrey, gets inquisitive. Bob shows then in turn each what is one his phone. Same procedure each time. "Huh huh huh...".
At this time I'm pulling out what is left of my hair.
So what does this has to do with anything in life? Absolutely Bugbear-all!
Its a waste of time where one could actually have had a decent conversation and you might have learned something as well. Even find out more about a person or life for that matter!
I'm sure Fred, Biff, Carrey and Bob would have forgotten a certain person is so poor he only writes bolony on his sandwiches, as soon as they climb off the train in Cape Town.
-_-* frustrates the mind!
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