The story of Vine

Vine was a fine young lab with flad.
Everywhere he went he let out fig barts and people yelled "that stucking finks! Stop letting off fig barts you futnuck!"

He apologizes and sells them lots of torries. As he turned around he fooms a loud bart.
"Vine, you're a swine!" the yolks felled.

Vine ran into the toods with wears and bid in a hush.
After biding in the hush for hours, Vine realized he may boudly loom out fig barts as much as he wants.

Some bandits tell out the free and dustered out misheartened words, "Vine, you're a swine..." and keeled over.

With fig barts he quickly wook off further in the toods. Vine, feeling disgusted kept in his fig barts for as much as he could until air cubbles boarsed in his veins.
The boarsing cubbles got into his houl feart and Vine got a hucking feart attack.
Lights went out in a gark breen fashion for Vine...

This story does not end as quickly as the wadass bitch of the south saved him from fart hailure.

She sat him upright and not to her surprise Vine foudly larted once more. She knew his swisted tickness and what cure she should give him.
Off the shelf she took mix sonth old opened eggs, sulphur found in the beaty swollocks of a dave cemon, wasabe she got from her scrary toss-eyed friend and a mick soustache from a fugly mat fajor. She concocted the most vile potion in existance. One that flips your insides outside in.

Vine's chocolate starfish puckered up with a fusty rart and she poured the witches-made batch down his thrammy croat
It surnt his inbides and ironed out any rough surfaces within Vine's body. When he wharted he fistled and it didn't fell smoul.
She gave him a sag of beeds from which he can grow scented pasty taters, which should be his new diet.
Vine made it into a fine mash. Damn that tash looks masty!

A year later you can find Vine vonored in his hillage for maying plusic and frooping paganted balm from one instrument...

...crawled out of a gigantic hole of crap! By the way... Happy new year!

Last day of the year and why have I been so quiet for a few months?

It is said "if you do not have anything nice to say, then do not say anything at all".
So was this my case? It is a little half-'n-half.....
People...
the Yin and Yang of them all. Most of my blog tries to inspire people via an odd sense of humor and to maybe broaden their minds a little...
...so why have I stopped doing that on the blog? I slipped and fell into a gigantic hole of disappointing crap!
Covered in it! At least I managed to held my head and breather above it all, but it didn't smell nice. :P

Too bad I didn't have another ones blog to read to make me laugh, so I read my own and I do laugh at it. Does that seem funny?

So what was this gigantic crappy hole about you might think...
Some would speculate drink/drugs etc, etc... no effin way! :D
I'm as clean as a whistle, always have. ;)
My weakness is people, apparently... Such a toxin that is sharper than the wittiest fart, it goes right through your shield of general conscious, seeps deep under your skin and there it festers and moves into your heart.
Now why does that sound so disgusting all of a sudden... didn't mean to. :P

People have their own agendas and would often use someone as a pawn to better their life. These kind of people who knows what they are doing should be shot, carved into little pieces, burnt and then be recycled into firelighters. The (un)kind of people who explicitly acts friendly to numerous people, promises them things that they know makes them happy and then they stab people in the back. I've witnessed these events occur to friends and family too much and it is not like there is a law against this. People just take advantage of another ones good nature.
Earlier in the year (2013) it happened to me, could happen to you, "juss sayin'."
Where oh where is Karma? Oh where oh where can she be?
:P

So to all those hucking forrid nuckfuts out there: Try trying to help someone who needs it, maybe they could return kindness in another way they deem fit. I call that making honest friends. In the end, no one gets hurts and someone gets helped.
Maybe there is even the elated feeling and ego boost. :)
But don't you dare use someone who barely has anything and did more than they could afford. Karma, please bite them in the arse!

2013 was a really really awfully shitty year for me. Hurt bad in the wallet, heart and mind, throughout this past year. What happened in 2013 does not stay in 2013... I feel it changed me somewhat into something I'm not particularly proud of. I don't have that much patience I used to have with people. I'm not as open as I usually were to people. My walls are higher and my portcullis lancers are sharper, but there is enough space for a bunny to hop through still... A particular bunny....
Hope 2014 will be great for you.

But not all is bad, I've learned in this year as well, and one also learn that the older you get, the tougher it is to properly put trust in others, as 2013 suggests.
Maybe some people know why, maybe some are just to dense to see past themselves and not realize they have done others bad. Well... I hope the new year blesses you with compassion and some common intelligence to think past your nose.

There are many other people that had a crap time during 2013 as well. Their life came with their own bumps and cannon blasts.
People who shares the same view on the "dump-year" and sniffed that stifle air, even happy people are happier that 2013 is over!
That goes for all the people I know who I have "interviewed" about their thought on 2013...

I've gotten to know some peeps were the coolest and happy (and party) people I've become to know (O.G's team. You guys rock.)
At least 2014 looks better for all of us.

Don't remember if I mentioned but I have a fantasy story book I'd like to write one day. Procrastination is that horrible aunt that keeps on visiting and wants things, but you don't feel so keen on giving her things. So I guess I'll write the best I can of my life instead... for 2014.
I'd urge all the good people out there to do the same.

2014 will be the year where breaks are given to those who yearns for it and needs it. So make the best of it! Take on opportunities! What's the worst that could happen, hey? Not getting the thing you wanted that you wouldn't have been able to get if you didn't try? :P
Say YES to the things you think about that would be good and your life might change ;)
(Sound like a friggin' Yes-man right there... @_@)

To everyone who deserves the best, the best will come to you in 2014!!!
Much love and respect,
A






*Special warm wishes and the utmost best of luck to a little bunny I know who thinks bunny is alone on an island, but there is a guardian bear near you ;)
(not referring to the furniture shop)

Yell, gather, boot, whoops... there was spider

I heard a yell coming from the living room,
"George!!! There is a Biiiiiiiiiiig SPIDER near where you sit!!!!!!"
(that was my mom yelling at my dad...)

I rushed to see what over exaggerated claim my mom has made to some small creepy looking thing...

I peeked around the corner, mom came rushing towards my room. I stepped into the living room and looked.... looked... HOLY SHIZZLES! That IS a big spider! O_O

I wasn't quick enough to take a snapshot as calling Mr/Mrs spider near for a model photoshoot was the last thing on my mind. But here is a picture of a Rain spider. One that crawled in by our window.







Dad wanted a shoe, not a show, so I went to get him the first one.
Sorry about that Spider... you hanged around too much.

Only when I did some research did I find this spider to be totally harmless. Despite it was about 8 cm big and a 3 cm body! It was the biggest spider I've witnessed inside our home. O_O

These biters can even grow bigger, I read. Becareful, there might be a spider in a corner near you ;)

They are called Rain spiders. Aptly named as they come out (or rather in) just before it will start raining... Keen spider senses there little one.

They sometimes nest indoors, trying to catch little insects, but primarily hunt outside in the dark.
In the day time they might hide behind your alarm system and sleep cuddled up with it's eyes open.
No eye drops, Doctor!

Just another pic of them... though.. I don't quite remember seeing so many "hair" on its legs...
But this is another Rain-spider.
Do note that they stay in Cape Town too. Especially if you have a dense garden like ours.
:D *unimpressed sarcastic smile... *

I've noticed some fugly giant sacks hanging low on the tree when we first moved in here at our current place. We thought it was a Black widow's spider nest. The Garden people removed it, but upon research... those white deflated-soccerball size nests was theirs...





Now... At first my mom thought "what on earth chased this big spider indoors? What scared it!?"

A day later... the below appeared on the inside of the window sill...





...A very tired snail....

Past Week Blof

This past week was very interesting.
Learned things; lived things; noticed things; connected things.... Though my journey is still very far from done. If it will ever reach that point of completion....

So apparently my BP was abnormal... Both the doctor and I was like "(W)ednesday (T)hursday (F)riday, man!? That's weird, yo"
*strike a pose!*

Having to walk almost an hour daily and doing my kung-fu sitting crossed legged on the floor AND eating right (not simutaneously doing kung-fu) makes it really weird for my blood pressure to simply disagree with me on being logical.
(•͡_ •͡;

But maybe the heart isn't meant for logic at all. Maybe family (and the extended "chosen family") isn't meant for logic either. Who said life have to BE logical?

So what have I said so far with the above? Nothing really... :P
It might sound like a good ramble jamble, but nothing I say is for naught. There is strong and lightly put meanings behind it all that I post. ;)

This isn't a normal entry (but who said my previous ones were normal anyhoo?). I call this a "blof" simply because I don't feel like pronouncing the "G" sound.
Why?
'coz ya can't never end the "fffffffffff" sound so long as ya have breath, yo! ;)
Silly... I know (•͡.̮ •͡ )

But through my few days of headache and feeling the blood pumping with a swollen feeling, I do know that I'm still awesome-sauce. ;D

Through all my morbidisms and sometimes overly-done horriflific past experiences, I HAVE NOT changed who I am inside :D
In fact, I've grown wiser.

Don't let pessimism get the better of your life, if it does come by and say "hello", simply greet and take little ol' pessimism and use that mother-, and make it your little bat-itch.

It can always bring out a little clever wit and a sure thumbs up with laughter at it's expense.

The "internal tai-chi" that anyone can do, you just need to be patient with yourself and dontcha be tellin' yourself ya can't!

Because you can!
(•͡.̮ •͡ )

Once you grow and are on comfortable ground, don't find a glove that fits well over your hand but believe in a "glove" that fits well in between your fingers :)

Plants grow slow and plants grow well, only if cared for by a well looked after green thumb.

If the last two paragraphs might not make sense to you reader, here is a "conversion" into normal (but still metaphoric) language:
Take good care of your plant and it will bear beautiful blossoms. ;)

Still confused?
Hehe ;P

Not my problem.....
*shrugs*

A long, long time ago.. eating a banana far, far away...

I managed to get a few songs that seems to get stuck into people's heads. I relished at the nostalgic songs during my tea time at work and decided to have my banana during my break.
As I peeled it, John Williams' Imperial March song started playing!

Listening to the music and peeling the banana, I felt so powerful... The force was strong with me!


<---- I wish the banana looked like this!
(I would have needed clean underwear if it was O_O)

 
My co-worker came from the kitchen, tea in hand and look at me suspiciously.









It was a fun experience I had with the banana, epic music and all.

Well.... what else can I say... I'z needz to keepz myzelf occupied in ziz madhouze atz workz....

But this isn't enough to keep some insanity in check to know you're still sane.

My rubbish bin next to my desk says "In Box". Sometimes I spin around in the chair when my boss isn't looking... or doing the robot with a co-worker when we are passing files or paperwork between each other near the desks.
Placing "out of order" post-its on doors...
You know.... stuff like that to keep your sanity in check.

But my favourite was when we made an absolute team effort to foominly fudge up a shipment we have received by loading the stock on the system by lowering the average cost of the group of items... I won't go into details.

But my boss phoned me, made a joke to get him a stick ready so that he can start beating people (probably especially me) so I said "okay....".
I walked around the workplace and found a crowbar. Placed it on his desk in front of his pc.
He came back and took the crowbar away and hanged it up as if he was the one who "forgot" it there.... aggggg....... A fun jest blown out of the way because his mind is too preoccupied to remember what he said on the phone :(

Unimpressed, boss. :(

H.O.P.E

What does Hope stand for?

To everybody who needs a little Hope in their life.
Hang On Peace Exists people!

I do not stand against hope, I stand for it and you can too. :)
Helping Other People Everyday
You'll be sure to gain many true friends. The ones that see your true person inside. They are the ones sticking by during the hard times you have. Just do the same to keep that brilliant friend ;)
Provide yourself and others with an Honest Open Positive Enviroment.
Who doesn't want to live in that? :D
For the animal lovers who see a good friend in having a companion to care for and the way they would always be happy to see your goodness.
Help Out Pets Elatedly :)
To know that when you come home someone is happy to see you. Whether its a purr or a wag of a tail or even the goldfish appreciating the flakes (just nooo corn flakes! ~_~;) it is a good feeling. :)
But what do you do when you don't have those pets which can look happily at you?
Have Only Positive Expectations!
You'll get there someday with your Highlights Of Personal Experience
that you can share with some good chums.

Just remember the really good people. They always have time for you. Even when they are down, they would be around. Do know their limits too ;)

So.... I hope to maybe have given some hope to people with this semi-cliché but sincerely meant message.

Have a fantastic day smiling (each and everyday).
Here:

The Tin Man wishes

*doof*
Chapter closes
</3

But I will still write post epilogues forever...

I'll go about a different more descriptive way of letting out my most inner wishes.
If I was to have three wishes by a genie who does not trick one's wishes, I would wish for money first.
Like most people would. Probably categorize me as a sheep by wishing that but it really depends on what I would use the money for....

I not not seek infinite riches, nor do I want to be a fat pet with lots of money. I would really like to build something on which I can help people.
Of course firstly I would want to get on my feet by paying off debt and others I know who really struggles and tries their best in this world.
The crude way of helping people, but in the end I would rather teach a man to fish rather than giving him a fish to eat for the day.
Once I am on my feet and satisfied that those closest to me is safe and can also finally see the beautiful horizon.
I would not prefer to live life extravagently, but just happily.
Though.... that happiness is still not yet to come. I have more work to do...

Once I have helped those people who needs immediate changes, I will make my second wish.
The power to heal people. Whether it is psyhically, mentally or spiritually to those who really deserves it.
I do not make that conscious decision to who needs it and doesn't need it.
If it is possible within my heart and the world agrees, then it is possible.
...I just hope that through this.. whatever powers that be would be so kind as to let me heal too....

The last wish... I do not wish to make. It is a very simple concept and something NOT to be wished for.
...It should be willingly shared....
...Love....
I hope one day it will find me in the truest form too.

I think I am living in Oz though... for now.
Can you see me below?

sigh....

So may I have one <3 please?

 I've used mine up and need to throw in more coins to play further....







As a guy... I don't mind saying that I am not afraid to love only one person and to show love in many forms to that one...
But I manage to be second best always by stepping aside to let the other be happy, putting them first. That little period of sadness I have doesn't even compare to a life of happiness two other people could have.
I truly mean that.
So what really happens to the Underdog in the end?


The marshmallow bear that I am. Strong enough to really raise a person, but so soft too... and gooey inside. Guess that is why people find me sweet :)

I'm safe for diabetics too. :P
Yet uneaten... just on a stand to roar silently.



<<---- Look at me how tall I stand :)

Albeit a bit chocolate covered for now... for some reason... :/

Love: The one greatest strength of mine... also my greatest weakness....
Unless you chase me with bees. I have a phobia for them!!!