Love those kind, like you would love an asshole

 Kind people are treated the worst, often neglected because, hey, they have a level head, clear mind, always does the right thing and can help others.
It doesn't mean that they don't have trouble themselves!

Just because a person is patient, it doesn't mean that because of patience they can always fade back in the queue; being thought not second of, not even third, but always last because they are "kind and patient".

Kind people tend to help those they like, those they love and cherish, those they see potential in to grow. They see the potential in others, even in darkness. ALWAYS compromising for those people because he/she cares and even put themselves behind in order to lend a helping hand.

When will a kind person be treated the same like an asshole?
In the way where they are also thought of first for a change. Helped when they fall down.
To be seen as a person who cares and not a person who is a charity case for the needy, whether it be time, emotion, investment and just a simple compromise.

Kind people don't always last in another person's life when they are taken granted for and always neglected because "ah, it's okay. They are a kind person. They'll understand".
They DO understand when they are being placed last, neglected, misused.

When the time comes that they speak their mind only then they are being seen as a "closet nice person" or not nice after all, or then being discarded because we are of no use because we stood up for ourselves... But assholes always return hoping you'll be there once more.

Kind people are inclined to help. They hurt too. They get angry as well... Mostly at themselves and I hate the fact that one day when they speak about what's been wrong, even though they uphold another person in high regards, they are being frowned upon saying, they were not nice all along if this is their true colour...
It frustrates me because I'm also in that boat.

Something that always gets to me is that the more kind you are, or more patient you are, people see that as a reason that you can be taken for granted or placed second.

I hope that one day I'll be treated like an "asshole" too by someone who is kind. That in being their first choice and may I treat them like an asshole as well.


There is a Japanese art/belief, Kintsugi, that emphasizes that nothing broken should be left damned to be broken. The cracks and hurt gets filled with gold. It emphasis the brokenness... yet through that is beauty in itself.
See Kintsugi, with a beautiful message:

The kindest people who went through the most, and NOT dwindle to become an asshole should be radiant in itself. It's something I believe in, yet I'm not perfect. Just line my cracks with silver and I'll be happy ;)

We're all just human after all... we all make mistakes. You can believe in whatever you like, so long as you don't hurt someone and be an asshole. For crying out loud... a little consideration goes a long way.

My first trip experience

The journey was awesome!

Saw a new side of the north of South Africa, ate like a boss and met some cool people, both new and old.

So many people back home asked me for photos and I did in fact take them. It is as if they are on vacation through me. :P

I can put some surety to that each photo was a lot better in person.

My first flight!

So, with this vacation study I have flown for the first time in my life. And no... before anyone joke, I did not fly on Virgin Air.

Not to try and get myself into thinking “what if I get scared because of the height?” I just saw it as a bus ride with a view. 

Kind of like on a TV screen :P
Self inflicted BS skills tested and succeeded! :)

My first thought, sitting next to a jet engine, I was kind of hoping for a little jet flame to produce from it.
Apparently if that really happened it would be a bad thing… not a rad thing. 
Being oblivious to the fact that I shouldn’t see a flame, if I did, I wouldn’t have notified any of the flight attendant anyway as I would have thought it was cool...



  

Seeing table mountain from afar in a totally different perspective I couldn’t have imagined and it made me realize that I am actually leaving my home town... 

The reality set in and soon… table mountain was no where to be seen. Just farm lands, which looks like amazing giant trays where good stuff grows!

Soon the sun was gone as well but one could still see little illuminated clouds we were passing over.

Getting closer to the JHB/PTA cities (with still no sign of a little flame, or even light, on the jet engine) I started seeing awesome glowing computer circuitry.
It was just the cities down below… a really amazing site. Pity I could not capture the vivid experience on photo as one could with the eyes.

Just riding on the bus flying in the airplane, was an amazing experience in itself.
There is just that little pressure change where usually one swallow to open the ears help, but try that 19 times in a row (I kept count coming back in from JHB)… 

When I arrived at Wonderboom Airport I was greeted by Uncle Fanie. An awesome guy with a great sense of humour. He is the husband of the guesthouse owner and a genius with electrical and hands-on work. He told me many things and especially one very lighthearted thing I'll take back home is a game he plays whilst driving. You know those little news headlines you see on the street poles?

He reads it out loud and then someone adds an intro to the headline, and then the next person adds a piece and in the end you get this made up mixed story which might make something as horrible as a Tokoloshi stealing groceries into a fun cartoon character.

First but not the last supper!

When we got to the guesthouse the 3 day long buffet began. It would be impossible to showcase every photo of what I ate on here, but let me give a schedule of how it worked:

Sunday 8 pm - BIG plate of food and dessert. 

(See picture left)

*cries a little while eating*

Monday morning - fruit salad, yogurt and then an unexpected plate of bacon, toast, grilled tomato and cheese, sausages and two eggs plus coffee and juice.

Still monday, I get to the training centre only to be greeted with coffee and biscuits. Then at tea mini muffins and more coffee. Lunch time some lasagna. After the course and 6pm sharp more food arrived and damn.... holy fitshizzles on a shiskebab! Going all pirate on that plate I put on my jacktars and dug into it ferociously! Two deboned rib portions, large chips and the BEST onion rings I've ever had!!!! Seriously, those fried onions were mucking afazing, I couldn't even contain my language. And then it was followed by a side salad that could even make a giant cry. 

Look at that tiny sausage!

Tuesday: more of that two piece special breakfast but I asked for less the previous day not for them to waste food and it was still more enough even then! 

 

I enjoyed it so much I forgot to take a picture before I dug in... sorry :P

It was another fruit salad with yogurt, juice, bacon, tiny boerewors (aren't they cute) a chicken schnitzel with fluffy grated cheese.
And guess what? More coffee and finger sandwiches at the course and chicken and rice (with salads) for lunch.
That evening I also went out with two friends and had a super awesome chat, caught up and had a really awesome meal at a place that has a beverage for a name, but sell friggin' awesome steaks accompanied with even more creative and delicious sauces (and by that I mean sauces that even has bacon in it!)

Wednesday morning I'm not fitting in my slim fits anymore and I actually broke a button on my pants. True story, whether it is instant weight gain or me just being reckless with a button, I'll leave you to decide what is the truth...
Another hearty breakfast consisting of the fruit salad I love so much (I really do though), yogurt and more Bay-CON! (and sausages, grilled tomato, cheese.... pop!)
More scones at the course, and I couldn't eat lunch... I was going to die as I've got too much goodness in my blood system. But I had thick chocolate cake for lunch instead... Boof!
PS: I've gained 2 kgs in just those days.. :'/

The courses itself was very informative and entertaining. Had a great lecturer and I'll be sure to remember him for years (well... I'll be seeing the place again later the year for more studies :)

The other people attending were also amazing in their own ways and met a couple of Cape Townians as well with an awesome sense of humour. Some team work was also forthcoming and I sat with two ladies from Durban and a guy from P.E. The stories shared was great and we also shared a few laughs. Even when we spoke about the different weather the places experience.

All in all, I really enjoyed the vacation training trip the company I work for has provided. The burst of energy coming from this adventure was amazing and as I landed in Cape Town I was not even cold, albeit it was raining. Guess the excitement coming home and having now carried the experience of traveling for the first time (and alone I might add) defeated the biting cold winter Cape Town rains bring.

I wanted to take a few souvenirs, so I took the magazines and barf bags that was on the airplanes and some sweets and coffees...
What can I say... I was wearing my Bad Boy racer jacket during the trip...

Who believes in old school relationships?

A friend shared this post and a simple nod and like is not enough.

I know a lot of people in today's hectic and fast life would not share the same values as I would share on this post, but I want to share anyway.

I don't know why people would not love this idea of being in a relationship.
To ultimately relax your thoughts and emotions to know that someone will be there for you.
To me that shows love and affection in many more ways.


So the below post follows a strong opinion and ever a fear of mine as well:

Today you see so many people going in and out of relationships as quickly as swiping on a Tinder search.

The world is going way too fast and people don't stop to really admire someone for what happiness a true investment between two people can offer.
Two people who are so connected through thick and thin and still hold hands when they are old. A long solid history can only be built once through determination and true love.
How rare and amazing is it to actually tell a story of how you two have grown old together and experienced the world at one another's side?


No one is perfect and people do have different opinions.
Even if you argue and fight, it is how much you love someone that makes you both stay.

To me that shows a better and stronger sense of love and character, rather than running to new "options".


It seems that a lot of kids (because let's face it... not a lot of people seem to mature these days in terms of friendship, love and commitment) grow up to want to make people like them.
I would also like everyone to like me... but it isn't possible with everyone.
You could always improve the friendships you already have instead of thinning yourself out to those who don't appreciate the real you.
This causes a lot of people to run around and look for new friends and appreciation, often feeling empty and feeling the need to meet as many people as possible or jumping in and out of relationships.
Often how you manage yourself in terms of self-respect is how you would show love to your loved ones.


Letting go of stress and anxiety of making people like you can make a lot of room to accept love into your life. This goes as broad as loving family and friends more as well.



Spending too much energy and gifts on people who don't really want you in their life isn't worth it. You will find happiness giving your energy and time to those who appreciates you, and you will receive the same back.


Letting some people go doesn't always make you a stronger person, sometimes arseholes can let people go just as easy. Those arseholes are the ones that used people for the time being for their values and willingness for other to simply like them back.
Even if you look at social media, how many people are chasing after the fact to simply be liked by many. It is all very impersonal really...

For the many people out there struggling to let people go, even if you are aware of the stress and anxiety some people cause, don't be afraid to let go of them.
It takes humility to recognize the differences. Being aware you are stressed is already one step in the right direction. To ultimately let go of a person takes a lot of self-respect as you are not doing it for yourself only, but for both parties.

It is like a muscle that needs to be trained. The more you use it, the stronger it becomes. It will be difficult at first, but it will only become easier. Just like the first time saying no to something. ;)

So climb aboard the gain train!

Exercise your self-worth and respect muscle a little more.

Everything starts small with baby steps, but soon you will find yourself where you always wanted to be in life ;)





I also think the reason people want to feel loved is simply because of that statement...
They need to change it and want to *be* loved instead.


It happens a lot where somebody is in a relationship. Meet someone else and then they only tell the person they are with once their secondary relationship is ready to become their primary.
You don't always have to sleep with someone to commit adultery.
Being on an mental and emotional flutter between people is also considered cheating if you are not loyal and honest to the one you're with.

 For the person left behind they will always have the question "why him/her and not me?"

When an emotional and mental tie breaks within you then you should be the better person and admit it. But people do stupid things because they are scared of being alone (or the lack of dopamine they would experience because of it)

So what if they tell the current person they don't want to continue to be in a relationship and then it does not work out with their new choice they had in mind? You can't go back again because even then in your mind you know you'll always be on the look out for someone else if you're willing to have let them go in the first place?
So people stick by and don't tell the other person. When that happens, you should already know you've created a Plan B person.
That's just awful but nobody (of the dishonest) wants to admit it.
I say "dishonest" because if you're inclined or thinking of wanting to date someone else while being in a relationship, it makes you a cheater. Doesn't matter what level of cheater you are.
If you aren't happy you should voice it.

The worst part is the faithful honest person will never expect it and feel powerless.



This is one of my fears. Meeting these fast-paced people of today who wants to "feel" loved by many... if you now understand my meaning by that.


Meeting someone with solid values and morals to love (even etiquette) is of more valuable to me than her weight in platinum would EVER be!
I'd rather go on adventures and do 40 things with 1 person than do a lot of different things with 40 different people.

The safety to know that that special person you love so much would always support you even pointing out your faults and helping you to better yourself.
The perfect superhero duo,
                 two people fighting for the same,
                                  two people not giving up,
                                                   two people tackling the world,
                                                                    two people growing old together,
                                                                                     two people creating a story...
                                                       
                                                                      Two people in love.

 
And that is how it should be...

2016: A new Horizon

It's that time of the year again. "The end of another year."

For those many people who had a really awful 2015, know that with the combined attitude of many others like you, like us, you will find 2016 to be filled with more camaraderie and fun, so long as people stick together and laugh more.

I've noticed a change of nature and instances in people's lives mid February this year. Everything just started getting... weird.
(I still blame Friday the 13th the day before Valentines)

So... as this year has already indulged so many "offensivities" here comes another, meant for those to lighten the hell up:
Hopefully people in the world will meet more face to face instead of looking into their mobile devices. Lift their heads up a little and notice the world around them. Those "zombies" needs to be welcomed back into the real world.
I might be a bit sentimental and old school, but when last have people enjoyed each other's company without the need for a mobile device close by? Leave the phone on silent; your life doesn't revolve around and in your device.
Invite someone over for a hot beverage, do something creative, get outside a little more... enjoy the company another human being can provide you.

I have not had a pleasant year either dealing with matters, sometimes/mostly out of my control, and I have been mostly incognito to avoid further stress...

Admittedly, I can take something with me from 2015! It changed me a little as well...

I've learned that while being "incognito" I've had more time to learn a few things, advance a little in life too with some skills. Might even have grown a little as a person during that time...

I've learned that "chatting" isn't a "fun" past-time but meaningful conversations (long ones and/or especially in person) one can keep with you always.

I might even have learned to let a few things go.

I've learned that real friends understand and doesn't mind the space, as there isn't a doubt you'll always be friends. They appreciate you and show it in their own way. Some solid friendships were made, some became slightly dwindled, but we always pick up from when we last left it, which makes you guys and gals awesome!



Seeing now how many other people felt the same way about 2015, I hope for all of us 2016 will be a better year.
Many things in 2015 was wrong, but I hope it made you strong.
May you take some lessons out of 2015, a year many people would like to be over. Experience always makes you grow!

Take 2016 by the horns, let us ride off as bull-riders into the sunset...
(just picture how epic that would be)

Everyday will be a day where you can challenge yourself into making 2016 a better place for you and others.


              To all my wonderful friends and family, I wish you a safe, fun and super 2016!

Couldn't find any bulls....

Snacks - bountiful chips!

Chips...

Here is a perfect picture describing chips in today's world:

I haven't had potato chips in a very VERY long time. After doing some chores (top secret government stuff) I went to the shops to buy groceries and snacks for movie&me time today.

Browsed the chips... damn.., There were specials everywhere! With every bag of chips, large, small or extra large, you do get something extra!
Like, what the heck!? Get half a packet of air included with every pack you buy!

I weighed up the difference between a large pack of Simba chips and an extra large pack. The extra large felt like less..., you just buy the bigger bag (literally) with no chips to fill it more than half.
Smell the air, eat the chips, gulp the crumbs and lick your fingers because you have to get every ounce out of it to make it worth the buck.

Even old reliable Messaris chilli chips or their chutney chips bags... stacked and layered and one could eat for days (provided you are a moderate eater). But nah-uh! These too went on a vegan and air diet and slimmed down a hell of a lot!

They used to have the bags you could see through and here is a pic of how full the bags used to be:

The Chili-chippi you could see through, see how lekker full it is? With the chutney pack on the right the back of the pack used to be clear and it was near full as well.

I miss the good ol' reliable entertainer packs... Now it is all a sealed mystery bag where you can't see through and you just know there is air waiting inside... secretly wishing it is a super lucky packet with more chips than air.

When I want to eat chips, I want to eat that I know I had enough and I MUST put the rest away or else I'll burst! Which reminds me of a Monty Python movie...
I don't want to eat a whole party bag and consider it a one-man "snack".

I'm scared someday when, and if, I have kids one day they would only be accustomed to 5 chips in a over sized bag of air and aroma molecules...

Boxing Day

Yo ho ho and I got-a no rum
Besides the chocolate I got yesterday ;)

(I once tried to get purposely drunk on a box of rum-chocolates, but it didn't work - a story for another time....)

 
Oh, don't mind the photo of the Christmas pudding. :)
I just really like it! Strange how fruit cakes are always seen as a gift nobody wants and passes it on (as seen on tv).
I love the damn stuff! :D

It is boxing day!

While the origins of this day as many different beginnings, like a master giving a "Christmas box" (goodies and presents) to their servants with a day off, or people making a random gift basket for tradesmen or a box where money can be donated to give to the poor, I like to think it is a day where the left over Christmas food are boxed and given to the less fortunate. This is actually the first origin story I have heard as well.
What does Boxing Day mean to you?

I'm not actually the religious sort but it is a very kind thing to be doing today. You don't have to go to church to practice being kind, but only offer a few minutes to someone less fortunate.

     Just a random fact:
     The richest 85 people in the world has as much money as the poorest 3.5 Billion in the world.
     And another fact (also as seen on social experiments) the poorest people are the most likely to            share compared to richer people.
       (Whoa... this blog entry isn't made as an internet guilt trip. haha)



I was with my family yesterday for Christmas, or rather they came to visit me in town. We didn't do a big festive family gathering with a lot of food. We only went out as a family again to eat a meal together, no left overs, but I did promise I would promote boxing day a little today.

I just happened to pass three people on the street on my way to the shops, a small family. Needed cat food and cheese as well. But don't worry... I wasn't going to mask the cat food with melted cheese and give it away! I might have a dark sense of humour, "some days", but that would be ridiculous...

On my way back I bought all three a meal and got them a hot drink. Surprisingly it was quite chilly this morning with the winds blowing around in town. :/ Seeing they used towels for pillows and had a thin blanket to keep warm, I figured a hot beverage would do them nicely too.

It makes a person happy to see someone else happy, even for the most basic things in life, which also makes one very sad because they appreciate the little things in life and we complain about things that really shouldn't matter... Makes me more sad that a person can't help everyone in life, but for that one person it makes all the difference, which makes me happy again... and sad.  
So many mixed feelings...
For that one person it is enough to carry on for another day, and it is the little one person can do for another that counts for them. :)

It reminds me something Mother Teresa once said:

It makes a larger difference than you might think.

Through a child's eyes

I really had a great laugh at the directness and innocence of children today but let's first mention how I got to see this, shall we? :)







It all started on the day before Christmas... not not like your usual snowy, white, red and eggnog filled adventures you see on the television, but rather a really nice outing meeting someone via someone who are just really priceless and awesome, to give some presents too.

A Little Christmas Spirit

It is true that many people, as they grow older lose the "Christmas spirit", but that is because of the hype and rush that is so unpleasant. Over time it just turns into the hype of buying for the sake of buying... It isn't really nice and I can understand the growing of the Grinch inside people, however... the sake of giving is what sparks the spirit again. Really taking your time and investing it into finding something worthwhile for someone. Even if it is making something from scratch, something unique, to show your appreciation or congratulating someone for their kindness and good base of spirit.





But let's get back to those kiddies!

Not the actual baby!

Nothing can beat the directness and unfiltered honesty of children.
While I was sitting with my friend and her two "adopted" children (not to worry, it's only her two nieces :P) she noticed a really cute Chinese baby.
As she pointed it out her nieces took note of it and as the baby came closer to our table he climbed onto a small wall and ninja'd down it sliding slowly down the slope of the wall.
This is also when the nieces started playing around the area and one climbed on the same wall and stood by the pillar. The baby waddled around the pillar to try and find the one niece who was hiding behind it and when he saw her he gave small roars, pretending he was a monster! It was funny though.


But the real honesty came out when the baby left the area, that is when the nieces spoke about how the baby looked different to them, with the eyes and they even tried to mimic it.
As you know, children can be loud at times.... haha
We sat there, embarrassed but laughing at their innocent and honest observations.

Then a Muslim lady walked into the area as well... the comments didn't just stop there. First it was "hey, there is a lady with a blue scarf around her head. Why?" said in Afrikaans. When it was said she shouldn't be making loud observations she assumed the lady didn't understand the Afrikaans language and we said she could. The kid then sat down quietly, knowing she might have upset someone from her verbal notice.




Kids can get away with comments because they are kids. They won't learn until they did wrong, but just like humans experience life, you can learn from your mistakes.
I, on the other hand, have a whole head full of comments, observations, childlike ideas and stating the obvious or asking questions I should have asked looong ago, but I must keep them all in my head to be able to keep my head on my shoulders. I won't be able to get away with what I "can" say, but sometimes a little brain fart manages to escape.... It can be funny at times.


If more people can approach things with a child's mind, asking questions, learning anew and be excited about the small things, I think, coupled with a mature sense of life, the Christmas spirit of giving can come back again.
Even if you don't celebrate Christmas religiously, it is still nice to indulge and spoil someone a little.

Giving is good for your soul

The kiddies had a wonderful time, as they giggled for a while before they passed out (on a mall bench that is!) and I also had a very wonderful time.
The person responsible for the outing might read this and I'd like to thank you for the amazing time!

A little Christmas Spirit

(note to self: at least nothing embarrassing happened like my Pineapple Juice story......)