Thursday 7 August 2014

Exterminare!

Laundry day.... don't fret as much unless you are helping a comrade with almost a month's laundry.. no, that is not the problem at all.
No... not my comrade's fault either, clothes was just in a used start and not dirty per se, but it is the fact that there were demons hiding under it all... poignant spawns created by one called Loki*.

Upon lifting the pieces of attire you are greeted by multiple uppercuts from multiple levels and angles. A thick yellow mist expelled from the mess that only your nose can see and your eyes would cry with it for emotional support.
Loki, why?

Grabbing our priest collars and a very special book to cover our noses, we venture forth into this pit of despair and not so cunningly try and dodge the dangerous uppercuts thrown from beneath the sheets of clothing.

"Loki, why!?" we thought again rummaging and sorting out clothes with our noses clenched tightly almost breaking it off. If cats pee'd sulfur with a hint of week old fish this would be it. How did he get in there so deeply to mask this early Christmas surprise? Omergawd.

We cleaned the place like fully fledged laundry inquisitors. We tried talking to Loki but let's face it, you can't Torquemada ANYTHING!
Since we were in a purging mode we emptied the litter as well and emptied the toilet bin too. It was all chucked into one bag and what an apocalyptic bomb it was...

That bag... That bag could not have been created in any place better than Lucifer's armpit. Smell of stewed cat whizz, poop and lord knows what else was starting to make more of its kind in the bag. We created something awful in the purging process.... Lord forgive us.

I dropped my collar, my book and my robes for haste was a necessity. I rushed to the corner table to grab an essence bottle from the air purifier (which was not helping at the time) and sprinkled it carefully as holy water upon the contained:
"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus"
"Et ejecistis de hoc plane, dæmonium habentem."
"Exi spiritus malus!"


And as soon as the nice smelling fluids was dispensed on the bag it was sealed (2 x double strength trash bags).
Look! Haunted trash bag!


It was expelled from the apartment and literally lay waste outside... The house was clear.
A powerful gloom was lifted and everyone felt they could breath once more.

* For clarity... Loki is a cat

No comments:

Post a Comment